Dune: I didn't read it and neither should you

Have you ever wanted to be transported to a sandy duney place where there’s a corrupt government and there are giant flipping worms that want to eat you? Neither have I.   

Now what if I told you that the only way to access this place is by reading a 600-page thiccc book that is quite possibly the most boring thing of all time. I’ll admit I lied when I said I didn’t read Dune, I gave it about 100 pages before I wanted to gather my things and jump into the mouth of a sandworm.  

One of my personal gripes about the book is that it doesn’t mention my man Timothee Chalamet at all. As a member of the extremely attractive white male with long brown hair community, I was extremely offended when they didn’t include any info about my boy Tim, even though he’s literally the main character of the story. All they would talk about was this guy named “Paul” which is strange because Timothee never mentioned a Paul.